The Importance of politeness and expression when communicating
Being polite is a complicated business in any language. It is difficult to learn because it involves understanding not just the language, but also the social and cultural values of the community. We often don't appreciate just how complicated it is, because we tend to think of politeness minly as a matter of saying please and thank you in the right places. In tact, it involves a urcat deal more than the superficial politeness routines that parents explicitly that parents teach their children, as the discussion of directives and and expressives suggested.
Take the word please for example. Children are told to say please when they are making requests, as a way of expressing themselves politely. But adults use please far less than one might suppose and, when they do, it often has the effect of making a directive sound less polite and more peremptory. Compare the pairs of utterances in this example, for instance.
(al) Could you take my bags up?
(a2) Could you take my bags up, please. (bi) Answer the phone ja.
(12) Please answer the phone Jo.
This raises the higher question of what exactly is politeness. Generally speaking, polite. ness involves contributing to social harmony and avoiding social conflict. More specifically, linguistic politeness involves discourse strategies or linguistic devices which are perceived or evaluated by others as having been used to maintain harmonious relations and avoid causing trouble. In many cases, being polite involves adapting sensitively to evolving social relation ships, as illustrated in example:
Nurse. Good morning Mr Grant.
Mr G Morning dear.
Nurse: I'm going to change that dressing. Is that OK
Mr G: Gonna torture me again are you sweetie?
Nurse: Third degree, no mercy mate.
The nurse begins the interaction with a polite greeting using the patient's title plus full name. He responds using the friendly form dear as an address form. The nurse continues politely, signalling her intentions and checking that he is agreeable. Mr Grant then uses humour and an even more informal address form sweetie, In response, the nurse shifts to a more casual style, also using humour and a casual address form mate. In this interchange, then, we see the two participants actively negotiating a comfortable way of relating to each other
Being linguistically polite involves speaking to people appropriately in the light of their relationship to you. Inappropriate linguistic choices may be considered rude. Using an imperative such as stop talking or shut that door to a superior at work is likely to earn the office juniora ra reprimand. Calling the managing director Sally when you don't know her well and have only just started work as a stores assistant in the department is likely to be considered impolite. Making decisions about what is or is not considered polite in any community of practice therefore involves assessing social relationships along the dimensions of social dis- tance of solidarity, and relative power or status. We need to understand the social values of a
community in order to speak politely.
These two dimensions also provide the basis for a distinction between two different types of politeness, Positive politeness is solidarity oriented. It emphasises shared attitudes and values. When the boss suggests that a subordinate should use first name (FN) to her, this is a positive politeness move, expressing solidarity and minimising status differences. A shift to a more informal style using slang, endearments (as in example above) or swear words (as in exercise 5) function similarly to express positive politeness. By contrast, negative politeness pays people respect and avoids intruding on them. Indirect directives such as those in example 11 (b) and (c) express negative politeness. Negative politeness involves expressing oneself appro- privately in terms of social distance and respecting status differences. Using title + last name (TLN) to your superiors, and to older people that you don't know well, are further examples of the expression of negative politeness.
Being polite may also involve the dimension of formality. In a formal situation, the appro- priate way of talking to your brother will depend on your roles in the context. If he is acting as the judge in a law court then calling him Ton will be considered disrespectful, while at the dinner table calling him Your honour will be perceived as inappropriate or humorous.
Sources : Janet Holmes
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